Its funny that we are suppose to blog about htis particular topic of nonviolent communication. I can recall a recent situation in my personal life when I was having just a small heated conversation and both of us were going back and forth and no one could hear no one because of the yelling. I suddenly realized and ask myself why are you yelling because this is not a way to solve a situation. So I just hushed and allow the other person to continue vent because at this point that is what they was doing because I began to listen. I think allowed them to get whatever it was off of their chest and I remember in order to have a civilized conversation you have to respect, respond, and reciporate. Once the other person observed my actions they were able to calm down and we were able to began an adult conversation. By the end of hte conversation we both listen to each other views and we were able to agree and disagree without being disagreeable.
I believe that the only thing that changed the disagreement was one had to show respect for the other so both parties ended up respecting each other.
The question I have for my colleagues is what other way could this been avoided.
You shared a perfect example of how we can “show” others how we want to be treated. By listening to your yelling communication partner, you were showing respect for his/her perspective. I have found that by agreeing on some rules for fair arguing, some of the unproductive and hurtful actions can be avoided.
ReplyDeleteRena,
ReplyDeleteYou did the right thing. Sometimes conflict is unavoidable, but you fixed it or diffused the situation by realizing that by being calm, cool and collected you would reach a compromise. I commend you, because it's so much harder to do that when tempers are already flaring! :0)
It is very difficult to back away in the middle of a heated debate. I think you did the right thing by taking the time to regroup and refocus your energy. You were actual able to gain control of the conversation when you calmed down because they began to calm down as well. In the end you were both able to resolve your conflict by respecting each other's perspective. Great strategies!!
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